We're getting geared up - for summer that is. Because it is definitely upon us. A hot and humid 91 in KY today. In APRIL for heavens sake. Mr. T. and I were busy this weekend opening the pool, cleaning off the patio, funiture, etc. After a few more days like today, it won't take long to get that water warmed up and I will be laying on my float, book in hand soaking up the sunshine.
We've got a busy summer ahead, as I'm sure most of you do. Preschool is over for Faith May 9th. She has her graduation ceremony on May the 8th (complete with a cap & gown). T-ball starts for her a few days after that and she is also doing a gymnastics class one day a week this summer and Mother's Day out at her preschool 2 days a week. Wesley made the Middle school basketball summer team so we will have his practices and games. He gets out of school May 17th and a few days later Mr. T and I leave for an adult only vacation. SIX glorious days, no kids, no phones, no mouths to feed, no laundry or cleaning, just us. We are going on a cruise and really looking forward to it. (20 days and counting until we leave) It's one of our favorite things to do.
It's funny, you tell people you're going on vacation and the first thing they ask is "Where are you going?", the 2nd thing they ask is "Are you taking the kids?" Ummm, NO, not on a cruise. There are certain places that are not kid friendly and in my opinion, a cruise is one of them. (Unless it's a Disney cruise). 3rd question is "Won't you miss them? I don't think I could leave my kids for that long." Yes, I'll miss them, but I am a parent 365 days a year, I have no family close by and no sitter, our lives revolve around the kids. Shoot me, but I don't feel guilty and I definitely feel entitled. I'll be glad to see them when I get home but everyone deserves a break. My husband and I also deserve some re-connecting time. So No, I don't feel guilty.
We also plan on a few trips with the kids this summer. Probably a long weekend trip to my parents in Indianapolis. They have a terrific Children's Museum and also a zoo. I am also going to be brave and take Wesley and a few of his friends to King's Island (an amusement & water park) in Cincinnat, OH because he has done so well in school this year. So far perfect attendance and honor roll all year in addition to being on the winter & summer basketball team. He's a good kid and deserves a treat. So that's about it for our summer plans. June will be busy. Busier than I would like, but July is pretty uneventful. T-ball will be over the end of June as will basketball so July will be a relaxing, enjoy-the-summer month.
So what are your plans??
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
School Shooting
I had to comment on the school shooting. I had to. I come from a town that had a school shooting. I feel so bad for the families, the friends, it involves so many. How sad. I just don't understand. I guess the need for venegance, revenge??? Shit, take your own life FIRST. Not 30 something people that have no choice in the matter. I just don't get all the evil that this world has become....
I finished the book "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult a week or so ago. It was about a school shooting. Ironic, huh? In 1997 there was a school shooting in the town that I lived and worked in at the time. I was at work in downtown Paducah, KY. My boss's husband was on the police force so we found out soon about it after it happened, before it hit the news. I didn't know anyone that went to the high school where it happened or the students that were killed or injured. Amazing though, because I only lived 20 miles from the school. The boy that did the shooting, his Dad had an office just a few buildings from the one that I worked at. (The Dad is an attorney). That is as close as it came to affecting my life. Michael Carneal, the student shooter, claimed he was bullied. Just like Peter in "Nineteen Minutes". All of it was just disturbing. The book, Peter, Michael Carneal, Columbine, Virginia Tech. I just don't get it. How do you become so angry that you want to kill people?? It's an evil world we live in. So much violence.
Wes and I were talking about the school shooting. The news was showing some footage of the shooter of V. Tech. Apparently he had sent NBC a package prior to the shooting on Monday of himself and a bunch of ramblings. Wes and I were watching this and he says "There is a kid at my school that one day, I swear Mom, he will do a school shooting." Huh? "There's a kid that gets picked on all the time. Kids call him gay and make fun of him. I really feel sorry for him." "Why do they make fun of him?" "Because he is really short and little and nerdy looking. He has a brother in the 3rd grade that is taller than him." (note that Wes is in the 7th grade in middle school that is 6th-8th grade) My heart is hurting for this kid. "Wes, please don't ever make fun of him. Don't do that. Can you imagine how bad his life sucks?? Do you know that on Monday, when he has to go to school, he would probably rather go to hell than have to go to school? Don't you look at him and think "Thank God my life is not his"? Don't be a part of that." As a mother, I want to go to the school and hold this boys hand and defend him or have an assembly and ask all these kids that pick on him "Why?, He is a kid that wants to be liked just like all of you. We are all different. So he's short? Big frickin deal. Lighten up. Take up a cause - make it him. What if your life sucked and you were him?"
I feel so bad for this boy that Wes knows, I guess it's the mother in me. Imagine how it feels for it to be 30. or 40 or 50. 50 people making fun of you. 50 people that say you are gay. 50 people that seem to hate you. So tomorrow I am calling the school and asking the principal "What are you doing for this boy?" "Are you aware that he is being picked on? Do you know what kind of damage it can do?" I am doing it because someone has to. It won't change anything for him, but I wish it would.
I finished the book "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult a week or so ago. It was about a school shooting. Ironic, huh? In 1997 there was a school shooting in the town that I lived and worked in at the time. I was at work in downtown Paducah, KY. My boss's husband was on the police force so we found out soon about it after it happened, before it hit the news. I didn't know anyone that went to the high school where it happened or the students that were killed or injured. Amazing though, because I only lived 20 miles from the school. The boy that did the shooting, his Dad had an office just a few buildings from the one that I worked at. (The Dad is an attorney). That is as close as it came to affecting my life. Michael Carneal, the student shooter, claimed he was bullied. Just like Peter in "Nineteen Minutes". All of it was just disturbing. The book, Peter, Michael Carneal, Columbine, Virginia Tech. I just don't get it. How do you become so angry that you want to kill people?? It's an evil world we live in. So much violence.
Wes and I were talking about the school shooting. The news was showing some footage of the shooter of V. Tech. Apparently he had sent NBC a package prior to the shooting on Monday of himself and a bunch of ramblings. Wes and I were watching this and he says "There is a kid at my school that one day, I swear Mom, he will do a school shooting." Huh? "There's a kid that gets picked on all the time. Kids call him gay and make fun of him. I really feel sorry for him." "Why do they make fun of him?" "Because he is really short and little and nerdy looking. He has a brother in the 3rd grade that is taller than him." (note that Wes is in the 7th grade in middle school that is 6th-8th grade) My heart is hurting for this kid. "Wes, please don't ever make fun of him. Don't do that. Can you imagine how bad his life sucks?? Do you know that on Monday, when he has to go to school, he would probably rather go to hell than have to go to school? Don't you look at him and think "Thank God my life is not his"? Don't be a part of that." As a mother, I want to go to the school and hold this boys hand and defend him or have an assembly and ask all these kids that pick on him "Why?, He is a kid that wants to be liked just like all of you. We are all different. So he's short? Big frickin deal. Lighten up. Take up a cause - make it him. What if your life sucked and you were him?"
I feel so bad for this boy that Wes knows, I guess it's the mother in me. Imagine how it feels for it to be 30. or 40 or 50. 50 people making fun of you. 50 people that say you are gay. 50 people that seem to hate you. So tomorrow I am calling the school and asking the principal "What are you doing for this boy?" "Are you aware that he is being picked on? Do you know what kind of damage it can do?" I am doing it because someone has to. It won't change anything for him, but I wish it would.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Easter
Easter is over. Not one of my favorite holidays. Anything that involves candy is not tops on my list. We had a nice day though, a little cold (50). Compared to the 80 degree weather we have been having earlier in the week.
We missed the Easter egg hunt at church the previous weekend because I had gotten tickets to see the Doodlebops Live and it was the same time as the egg hunt. Therefore a hunt took place in our house (due to the cold weather) and Faith was just as excited about it. Please notice the gorgeous jewelry ensemble that Faith wore given to her by our neighbors (instead of candy.) Complete with clip-on earrings, whooo hoo what a treat. Just glad she didn't want to wear it to church on Sunday.
Faith was adorned in her new Easter dress minus the bonnet and white kid gloves that I always had to wear as a child for Easter. Her dress was so pretty but it was too cold to wear without a sweater to church so that was a big issue Sunday morning as we are rushing (as usual) to get to church.
Church is a big part of our lives. If I miss church on Sunday, my week feels so off. I Love, love, love our church. I love the spiritual feeling, I love the church members and the love they have for me and my family, I love the friends I've made and I love all the activities at church. I am very involved in our church. I spend about 4 hours a week at church. We go on Wednesday nights (as most Baptists do). I am a youth group leader and love the kids that I work with. On Sundays I am an assistant teacher in the Preschool Sunday school class and then we go to Sunday services.
I was raised Catholic so becoming a Baptist a few years ago was a big change from what I had known most of my life. I have always questioned the Catholic faith and still do, so when I started attending a Baptist church, it seemed like I had finally found my place. This has become a big deal with my Catholic parents. My dad feels that since none of my children were never baptized as infants (something Catholics do) should they die, they will rest in hell for all eternity. OK, we are talking about young children. Baptists believe that you, as a person decide when you want to be baptized, when you feel the calling to be saved and have a closer relationship with God. I find it hard to believe that my innocent 4 year old daughter would be condemned to an eternity in hell. But, that's just me. I also question the need to tell a priest all my sins and the mistakes I have made, in a confessional. Can't the Good Lord hear me just fine?? I was always taught that when I prayed, He would hear me. Why the need for a mediator?? A man to dole out my "punishment" with 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Mary's? Shouldn't that be God's task, not some faceless man sitting in a box that doesn't even know me or my remorse for my wrongdoings? I can't say I completely agree with everything that Baptists believe though either. I guess I just have more tolerance for their beliefs than how I was raised. For example: Baptists do not drink alcohol. Ever. There was a lot of wine drinking in the Bible, what makes it so wrong if I have a glass or two? Although my reasons for drinking aren't holy one's, I honestly don't see the harm. Also gambling is a big No-No. That includes raffles, bingo, the lottery, casinos. If it's my money and I don't lose the farm, the house, can feed my children next week and don't need to become a member of Gambler's Anonymous what's the big deal?? After all, it is MY money.
I guess all religions have their own issues and we can't agree with all of them but I do like knowing I belong to a group of people that know and believe that God exists, that He is there for me, that He hears me when I pray. It gives me a great deal of comfort and peace in this crazy world I live in.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Kindergarten
This is another thing that I am struggling with. Kindergarten. Who would have thought it would be such a debate in my life?
Kindergarten here is all day, 8 am until 3 pm. A long day for a 5 year old. And I must mention that Faith doesn't turn 5 until the end of July. Therefore a very young 5 year old. Trav went to Kindergarten when he turned 5. Again, barely 5. Then it was 1/2 day. He made it through with flying colors, on to 1st grade, then 2nd grade and that's when it blew up in my face. He struggled, we pushed, pulled and drug him the remaining 10 years of school. I realize school is not for everyone but he was/is a smart kid. He got it, he just didn't want to do it. Other than school we never had a problem with him. Maturity was his big issue. Lesson learned.
I held Wes back. Wes went to Kindergarten at the age of 5 and turned 6 a few weeks later. At that time K was all day. I was not going to go through the same thing I did with Trav. All my kids have summer birthdays and them both being boys, well, you know what they say and it is true. Girls mature faster than boys. So far with Wesley, no problem. Honor role, academic team, involved in sports, respects his teachers, does him homework. School isn't the best thing in the world to him but he is mature enough to realize it's his job for now and he has to do his part. He also realizes to be successful in life, he has to do well in school. It is a part of his future.
Faith is DYING to go to K. It's all she talks about. I had talked to her preschool teacher about holding her back. She thought I was nuts. She is BRILLIANT the teacher says. Brilliant??? OK, I know she's smart and I'm not one of THOSE Mom's. You know the ones, they think their kids are perfect in every possible way. Not me, I know my kids. They are great, sweet, bright kids but I know their faults and I am not blind to them.
Back to brilliant. Miss G. thinks it would be a disservice to Faith to hold her back. She would become bored with another year of preschool and she is ready. OK I am open-minded, I will consider this. I talk to my SIL. My SIL (has a PhD in child development) thinks I should send her too and gives me a number of reasons why I should. I take her to the K evaluation to see what she scores and if in the tester's opinion, she is ready. After I signed Faith in, we were told that the test would take however long it took for your child to cooperate but no more than an hour. The tester takes Faith to the testing area and I sit in the waiting room. One mom tells me she has been there for 45 mins. Faith walks out and is done after 20 mins. Apparently she cooperated. She scored 27 (all scores are from a possible of 30) in motor skills, 27 in concepts, 25 in language, 25 in self help and 28 in social.
I guess I surrender. My daughter is ready for Kindergarten. Her Mom however, is not.
Kindergarten here is all day, 8 am until 3 pm. A long day for a 5 year old. And I must mention that Faith doesn't turn 5 until the end of July. Therefore a very young 5 year old. Trav went to Kindergarten when he turned 5. Again, barely 5. Then it was 1/2 day. He made it through with flying colors, on to 1st grade, then 2nd grade and that's when it blew up in my face. He struggled, we pushed, pulled and drug him the remaining 10 years of school. I realize school is not for everyone but he was/is a smart kid. He got it, he just didn't want to do it. Other than school we never had a problem with him. Maturity was his big issue. Lesson learned.
I held Wes back. Wes went to Kindergarten at the age of 5 and turned 6 a few weeks later. At that time K was all day. I was not going to go through the same thing I did with Trav. All my kids have summer birthdays and them both being boys, well, you know what they say and it is true. Girls mature faster than boys. So far with Wesley, no problem. Honor role, academic team, involved in sports, respects his teachers, does him homework. School isn't the best thing in the world to him but he is mature enough to realize it's his job for now and he has to do his part. He also realizes to be successful in life, he has to do well in school. It is a part of his future.
Faith is DYING to go to K. It's all she talks about. I had talked to her preschool teacher about holding her back. She thought I was nuts. She is BRILLIANT the teacher says. Brilliant??? OK, I know she's smart and I'm not one of THOSE Mom's. You know the ones, they think their kids are perfect in every possible way. Not me, I know my kids. They are great, sweet, bright kids but I know their faults and I am not blind to them.
Back to brilliant. Miss G. thinks it would be a disservice to Faith to hold her back. She would become bored with another year of preschool and she is ready. OK I am open-minded, I will consider this. I talk to my SIL. My SIL (has a PhD in child development) thinks I should send her too and gives me a number of reasons why I should. I take her to the K evaluation to see what she scores and if in the tester's opinion, she is ready. After I signed Faith in, we were told that the test would take however long it took for your child to cooperate but no more than an hour. The tester takes Faith to the testing area and I sit in the waiting room. One mom tells me she has been there for 45 mins. Faith walks out and is done after 20 mins. Apparently she cooperated. She scored 27 (all scores are from a possible of 30) in motor skills, 27 in concepts, 25 in language, 25 in self help and 28 in social.
I guess I surrender. My daughter is ready for Kindergarten. Her Mom however, is not.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Struggling
I am struggling, with so many things. I guess that's why I haven't posted much. Too many topics that I could cover so at the risk of sounding like a whiner I am going to get it OUT and off of my chest. So here is one of the first things that I am struggling with (there are more to follow) (BTW, any input would be greatly appreciated).
My sister is having an affair. Yes, you read that right. It still blows my mind to say it, read it, think it. I have known this fact for a little over a month. I have suspected it for 6 months. First, it doesn't surprise me, knowing my sister. How she has handled it is the mind blower.
My sister and I are 12 months and 17 days apart (she is older). Growing up we were close mostly because we were forced to be together. We shared a room until I was 12 years old, we played together, had a lot of the same friends, shared clothes and secrets. We were partners in crime, although not always willingly. She was bossy, mean and a bully. Blackmail should have been her middle name. I had no choice but to succumb to her every wish and demand because, quite frankly, I was TERRIFIED of her. But, still she was my sister....
As life changed and we got older, I married and moved nearly 500 miles away. We stayed in touch but we weren't terrribly close. I have friends that I am closer to. She married a great guy a few years after me. They dated for 6 years and have been married for 18. She is not one to stay in touch and for the most part, I am the one that has always called her, e-mailed, etc. She is hard to get hold of and rarely would have time to talk on the phone (she does have 4 kids and a full time job), if you e-mailed her, a response 3-4 months later is not surprising.
My sister has lead the "perfect life" according to my parents. Mainly because out of 3 of their children, she is the only one that remains Catholic. She has raised her children Catholic and all 4 of my nieces and nephews attend Catholic schools. The reward for being the good daughter - they financially help my sister and bil. They pay for the kids school tuition, give to their college funds, take them on vacations, etc. My kids - NOTHING. When I was a struggling single parent earning just above poverty level and making just a little bit too much to receive state aide (not that I would have used it), my parents didn't help one bit. I had made my bed and therefore, I was going to lie in it, starving or not, shoes for my kids or not. Thank God as time went by things got better. A better job, Christmas bonus's, etc.
In october I get an e-mail from my sister. She confided in me that she wasn't happy in her marriage and wanted out. Basically she said her husband is a great father but a lousy husband and she didn't love him anymore. She felt that their marriage was no example to her kids and in her opinion, if he thought about it, he probably didn't love her either. I have got to say that although I don't LIVE with my BIL, he is a GREAT guy. You could never NOT like him. Yes, he is easy going. VERY easy going, but a great guy. Her - she is a bitch to him. Plain and simple. He can't breathe right in her eyes and for the most part, it has always been that way. She has always treated him like shit, talks to him like he's a piece of shit and all this is done in front of their kids. There have been family gatherings when she has completely gone off on him and called him every name you could think of in front of everyone. Not pretty. Being the easy going guy that he is - he puts up with it. (Note that I have already stated that she was mean and a bully when we were kids, that has not changed).
Around Christmas my Mom is getting e-mails from my nieces (17 and 14) about how their Mom is never home, when she comes home it is around 3 or 4 AM, she is drunk, puking and then can't get up in the morning to get the younger 2 boys ready for school. They told my Mom that my sister wanted a divorce for Christmas. My Mom had NO IDEA that any of this is going on (she lives in another state as well). I call my bil, because my first thought (after I read the e-mails from my nieces) is that "she is having an affair". I heard my sister's side of the story and I wanted to hear what was really going on after the e-mails from my nieces. My bil tells me that she has profiles on 2 dating websites, she is not coming home from work most nights and he followed her to a bar and caught her kissing a guy. She has spent money they don't have, maxed out the credit cards and he found ones that he didn't even know they had. She has a whole new wardrobe, lost weight and gets her hair done all the time. After talking to bil and realizing all the things these kids are seeing and what the older 2 girls know, I call my sister (not letting her know that I talked to bil and know the REAL story) and offer her money to move. I know she is miserable, blah, blah, blah. My real motive is to get her away from the kids, they are hearing and seeing waaayyy too much, and in all reality they see her as the "bad guy". Their Dad is home trying to keep it together, working, & taking care of the kids because after all, my sister is never home these days. She is out partying.
My sister informs me that she isn't going anywhere. Her effing husband can move because she isn't moving into an apartment with 4 kids. Apparently she doesn't realize that none of them want to go anywhere with her. That was the last time I talked to her. In early December. She has had no contact with me or my parents or brother. She didn't show up for Christmas, she didn't call, she didn't even have the balls to say she wasn't coming.
Fast forward to now. My niece e-mails my Mom that her mom got a new phone and she was fooling around with it the other day and a text message comes through and it is from a guy named "Steve". "Steve" is telling her how much he loves her and can't wait to be with her, etc. My niece then reads all the text messages from my sister to "Steve" and vice versa. Oh, they are so in love and can barely live without eachother. My niece is reading this. My niece also knows "Steve". Apparently he is the son of my sisters boss and her boss supports this. "Steve" is also married with 2 children.
In the meantime, my bil continues to try to keep it together for the kids. My sister is flaunting this affair in his face and the kids. She has a "list of demands" for the divorce but she isn't going anywhere, he can leave. Like he is going to leave the kids with her!!! I am terrified and so, so sad for my nieces and nephews and bil that she is doing this to them.
SO I am struggling with this. The inability to know what to do and how to help...
My sister is having an affair. Yes, you read that right. It still blows my mind to say it, read it, think it. I have known this fact for a little over a month. I have suspected it for 6 months. First, it doesn't surprise me, knowing my sister. How she has handled it is the mind blower.
My sister and I are 12 months and 17 days apart (she is older). Growing up we were close mostly because we were forced to be together. We shared a room until I was 12 years old, we played together, had a lot of the same friends, shared clothes and secrets. We were partners in crime, although not always willingly. She was bossy, mean and a bully. Blackmail should have been her middle name. I had no choice but to succumb to her every wish and demand because, quite frankly, I was TERRIFIED of her. But, still she was my sister....
As life changed and we got older, I married and moved nearly 500 miles away. We stayed in touch but we weren't terrribly close. I have friends that I am closer to. She married a great guy a few years after me. They dated for 6 years and have been married for 18. She is not one to stay in touch and for the most part, I am the one that has always called her, e-mailed, etc. She is hard to get hold of and rarely would have time to talk on the phone (she does have 4 kids and a full time job), if you e-mailed her, a response 3-4 months later is not surprising.
My sister has lead the "perfect life" according to my parents. Mainly because out of 3 of their children, she is the only one that remains Catholic. She has raised her children Catholic and all 4 of my nieces and nephews attend Catholic schools. The reward for being the good daughter - they financially help my sister and bil. They pay for the kids school tuition, give to their college funds, take them on vacations, etc. My kids - NOTHING. When I was a struggling single parent earning just above poverty level and making just a little bit too much to receive state aide (not that I would have used it), my parents didn't help one bit. I had made my bed and therefore, I was going to lie in it, starving or not, shoes for my kids or not. Thank God as time went by things got better. A better job, Christmas bonus's, etc.
In october I get an e-mail from my sister. She confided in me that she wasn't happy in her marriage and wanted out. Basically she said her husband is a great father but a lousy husband and she didn't love him anymore. She felt that their marriage was no example to her kids and in her opinion, if he thought about it, he probably didn't love her either. I have got to say that although I don't LIVE with my BIL, he is a GREAT guy. You could never NOT like him. Yes, he is easy going. VERY easy going, but a great guy. Her - she is a bitch to him. Plain and simple. He can't breathe right in her eyes and for the most part, it has always been that way. She has always treated him like shit, talks to him like he's a piece of shit and all this is done in front of their kids. There have been family gatherings when she has completely gone off on him and called him every name you could think of in front of everyone. Not pretty. Being the easy going guy that he is - he puts up with it. (Note that I have already stated that she was mean and a bully when we were kids, that has not changed).
Around Christmas my Mom is getting e-mails from my nieces (17 and 14) about how their Mom is never home, when she comes home it is around 3 or 4 AM, she is drunk, puking and then can't get up in the morning to get the younger 2 boys ready for school. They told my Mom that my sister wanted a divorce for Christmas. My Mom had NO IDEA that any of this is going on (she lives in another state as well). I call my bil, because my first thought (after I read the e-mails from my nieces) is that "she is having an affair". I heard my sister's side of the story and I wanted to hear what was really going on after the e-mails from my nieces. My bil tells me that she has profiles on 2 dating websites, she is not coming home from work most nights and he followed her to a bar and caught her kissing a guy. She has spent money they don't have, maxed out the credit cards and he found ones that he didn't even know they had. She has a whole new wardrobe, lost weight and gets her hair done all the time. After talking to bil and realizing all the things these kids are seeing and what the older 2 girls know, I call my sister (not letting her know that I talked to bil and know the REAL story) and offer her money to move. I know she is miserable, blah, blah, blah. My real motive is to get her away from the kids, they are hearing and seeing waaayyy too much, and in all reality they see her as the "bad guy". Their Dad is home trying to keep it together, working, & taking care of the kids because after all, my sister is never home these days. She is out partying.
My sister informs me that she isn't going anywhere. Her effing husband can move because she isn't moving into an apartment with 4 kids. Apparently she doesn't realize that none of them want to go anywhere with her. That was the last time I talked to her. In early December. She has had no contact with me or my parents or brother. She didn't show up for Christmas, she didn't call, she didn't even have the balls to say she wasn't coming.
Fast forward to now. My niece e-mails my Mom that her mom got a new phone and she was fooling around with it the other day and a text message comes through and it is from a guy named "Steve". "Steve" is telling her how much he loves her and can't wait to be with her, etc. My niece then reads all the text messages from my sister to "Steve" and vice versa. Oh, they are so in love and can barely live without eachother. My niece is reading this. My niece also knows "Steve". Apparently he is the son of my sisters boss and her boss supports this. "Steve" is also married with 2 children.
In the meantime, my bil continues to try to keep it together for the kids. My sister is flaunting this affair in his face and the kids. She has a "list of demands" for the divorce but she isn't going anywhere, he can leave. Like he is going to leave the kids with her!!! I am terrified and so, so sad for my nieces and nephews and bil that she is doing this to them.
SO I am struggling with this. The inability to know what to do and how to help...
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Spring cleaning & my birthday gift
Spring has sprung. Today was a balmy 75, sunny and breezy. A beautiful day. I threw open the (dirty) windows and decided it was too beautiful to stay inside and clean (although that's what I SHOULD have done) much of it was spent outdoors. Faith and I played baseball, I cleaned up the flower beds & the garage and sorted several boxes of items to "keep" or "toss" while she rode her bike. It was a productive day.
For my birthday in January, my husband gave me the gift of all gifts. It was truly the most thoughtful present I have ever received and something I have always dreamed about. No it wasn't a piece of jewelry, the car of my dreams or a shopping spree. Although all those wouldn't be bad either. But it was thoughtful and I am really into thoughtful. When I give a gift, that's what I shoot for. So drumroll please - My husband gave me my very own room. (Sigh) Just what I always wanted. A room of my own, to paint in, sew in, create, write.... He had a little help from Mr. Hudson, (our beloved elderly neighbor) and they did a wonderful job.
The room is in our garage and when we bought the house, it was actually the tanning bed room. And quite honestly it is more along the size of a closet but it is my closet and I love it. It has laminate floors, heated & cooled, my Dad wired it for cable, white shelves along the wall with a sparkling new countertop. I painted it a pretty pink with black baskets on the shelves and framed vintage dress patterns on the wall and it is mine all mine. Today I sorted through my many boxes of fabric, thread, patterns, paints, brushes, etc. and put them all lovingly in place. Oh, the hours I could spend in there. Now if I could just find the time. Maybe when Faith starts kindergarten!!!
Thursday, March 8, 2007
The "C" word
Cancer - it should be a four letter word. It is a filthy, dirty, ugly word.
A week ago, my oldest and dearest friend of 20 years called me and asked me to keep her daughter in my heart and pray for her. Her daughter had found a lump in her breast and was having a biopsy. That same day "K" got the news - it is breast cancer. BREAST CANCER. 29. She is 29 frickin' years old and she has breast cancer. She's also got a 5 year old and a 2 year old. She also has the rarest form of breast cancer that there is. It's called IBC. Inflammatory Breast Cancer. This cancer fools you. It doesn't show up on a mammogram or ultrasound and most doctors think it's an infection. It is hard to diagnose.
After doing a little research on the internet, I decided that I hate the internet. I found too much information. Most of it was bad. She doesn't have much of a chance of beating this. One website said that the "5 year, cancer free rule" does not apply. Most patients with this type of breast cancer do not survive the 5 years. A miracle would be good right now.
This is my best friend's only child. She is 29 YEARS OLD. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? I know life isn't always fair, but this, it just IS NOT FAIR.
A week ago, my oldest and dearest friend of 20 years called me and asked me to keep her daughter in my heart and pray for her. Her daughter had found a lump in her breast and was having a biopsy. That same day "K" got the news - it is breast cancer. BREAST CANCER. 29. She is 29 frickin' years old and she has breast cancer. She's also got a 5 year old and a 2 year old. She also has the rarest form of breast cancer that there is. It's called IBC. Inflammatory Breast Cancer. This cancer fools you. It doesn't show up on a mammogram or ultrasound and most doctors think it's an infection. It is hard to diagnose.
After doing a little research on the internet, I decided that I hate the internet. I found too much information. Most of it was bad. She doesn't have much of a chance of beating this. One website said that the "5 year, cancer free rule" does not apply. Most patients with this type of breast cancer do not survive the 5 years. A miracle would be good right now.
This is my best friend's only child. She is 29 YEARS OLD. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? I know life isn't always fair, but this, it just IS NOT FAIR.
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